Because I Love You
by thelandslides
Summary: Amy feels like her life is falling apart after Ben breaks up with her, but then it is built back up again by Ricky. Ricky/Amy
1. Chapter 1

I know this chapter is short, but it _is_ only the first chapter. I want at least 5 reviews before I continue this. :)

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"Amy, we need to talk." Ben quietly said to me, as we stood in the kitchen. He was carefully watching me while I was feeding John and also trying to make dinner at the same time. I stopped what I was doing and turned around and folded my arms together.

"Okay, let's talk. But about what?" I was frustrated at him. I knew what he wanted to talk about, and I thought that I had made it clear to him that I wasn't ready. Ben looked down at the floor as he collected his thoughts together, he sighed and frowned while slowly walking closer to me.

"I think that maybe I should give you some space for a while. I just need some time to think. I still love you, Amy. And I hope we can be friends. I just really cannot do this anymore." I looked at him and scowled. _Why was he breaking up with me?_ I hadn't done anything wrong that should make him break up with me. He said he loved me. If he loved me, he would understand my feelings and why I didn't want to take our relationship any further.

"Ben, you can't be serious. You're breaking up with me just because I won't have sex with you?" I glared angrily into his eyes, and saw pain in his and how hard it was for him to do this to me.

"It isn't really about that, exactly. It's just every time I look at you, Amy, it feels as if you're trying to push me away. And I love you_,_ _I do, _it's just so hard. You have a baby and I understand that our relationship is never going to be as strong as it was, and you're feelings for me have also changed. It seems that you want Ricky around a whole lot more than you do me. And I know it's because he's the father of John." Tears were almost welling up into his eyes. He turned his face down to the ground to hide his face and spoke strongly through his tears. "I just _can't_ do this anymore. _I just can't._"

I held my breath for a few seconds and pondered what I had just heard. It was difficult for me to believe that Ben was breaking up with me. But in a way I wasn't too surprised. Though I wasn't expecting this now. Ben swiftly turned his body around toward the door, so that I wouldn't see him crying, and he stood in the doorway. He stood there for a while with his back turned towards me, but finally he spoke. "_I love you, Amy. _I know that I am doing the right thing." He shut the door slowly behind him and left me here alone with John. I suddenly broke down in tears, falling down on my knees on the floor and crying my eyes out.

"I love you too, Ben!" I yelled through my tears. I knew that he was probably long gone by now, but I yelled as loud as I could, my voice cracking after every word. I felt like I was alone in the world, and no one could ever truly understand what I was going through. John suddenly broke into a loud burst of tears and yelling. I wiped the tears from my eyes and managed to pull myself up, holding on to the counter as my body felt weak and was trembling. I carefully picked up John from his bassinet and held him, as I cried along with him. I knew that I could never get him to stop crying on my own. I couldn't do anything to help him. I took out my phone and dialed a number. _Ricky's._

The phone rang twice before he answered. "Hello?"

"H-Hello? Ricky?" I stammered. I tried the best I could to keep my voice steady, but as hard as I tried, I could not succeed. My voice was cracking, and I could not control my tears any longer.

"Yeah? Amy? Is everything okay?" He asked, his voice sounding worried and concerned.

It took me a while before I could respond to him. Everything was not okay, but I didn't feel like I should tell him what just happened. "I- It's nothing." I reassured him, moving away from the phone for a few seconds so I could try to keep my voice steady, "It's- It's just John. He's crying. M- My mom isn't here, and I don't have anyone that can help me." After I said that last line, my voice cracked again. I said it as if I were talking about Ben and not John.

Ricky seemed to notice how upset I was. He most likely assumed that something was wrong, because he spoke with concern. "I can be over there in a minute. Is he okay? Are _you_ okay?"

"He- He's fine. I think I- I think I'm fine. I just don't know what to do!" I stuttered, but this time I didn't try to control my tears. I didn't hold back at all, I just let everything go and didn't stop myself.

"Don't worry. I'm on my way right now."


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took me so long to update, I didn't really know what to write about lol.** I want **_**at least**_** 5 reviews before I continue.******

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I hung up the phone and tightened my grip around John, and I slowly walked into my room and carefully set him back into his bassinet. I concentrated on steadying my breathing by taking slow breaths, so that I could pull myself together before Ricky got here. I really didn't want him to see me cry, although he already knew I was upset on the phone. I sat down on my bed and hugged my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth as I listened to the rain, trying to stop myself from crying. John was still crying. The more I cried, the more he did.

"It's okay, John. Please don't cry. Please. You're only making this harder on me." I whimpered, covering my ears with my hands to block out the noise, however it was not effective. I could still hear him just as loud, and the rain wasn't helping me either, it only made me more heavyhearted.

I couldn't take it anymore. I could no longer deal with all of this. I angrily stomped out of my room, getting as far away as I could until I couldn't hear his crying anymore. I walked outside and slammed the door as hard as possible, getting all my anger and grief out. I walked around the other end of the house and sat down, pulling my knees together into my chest and leaning against the house. The rain blended in nicely with his crying, and I could no longer hear him anymore. I didn't care about holding back my tears. I wasn't only crying over Ben. I was crying because of everything in my life, because of John, my family breaking apart, and even Ricky. Ricky was such a good dad to John, and I'm not allowing him to be the best possible dad that he could be. I knew Ricky hated me, and he had the right to.

Everything is getting so hard, and I don't know what to do anymore. Ben doesn't want me any longer, and he was all I had to live for. I didn't even realize it until now, once he's gone. It's too late now, I've messed up _everything_. I looked up at the sky and at the rain and wondered what the whole reason to this was. Or if there even _was _a reason. Maybe Ben and I were just not meant to be together. I knew it was too good to be true, I mean, why would he want to be with someone who had a baby with another guy? I let the rain fall down on my face as I absorbed it all in. My clothes were soaking wet, but that did not really bother me. I wanted to stay out here forever in the rain like nothing else mattered.

"Amy?" I heard a voice say in a low, gentle tone. I slightly turned my head to look, but I couldn't see anything with all the tears in my eyes. I carelessly wiped them away, recovering my vision. "Amy?" The voice repeated, as I still saw nothing. "What are you doing?" I saw as a figure was walking towards me. I couldn't tell who or what it was, for it was too dark and it was raining. I could finally see clearly after the lightning struck, causing it to light up for a brief second. It was Ricky. I hadn't even heard him drive up. He slowly walked towards me as I didn't say anything. He stood up beside me and then sat down, and I could finally see his face clearly. He was smiling at me, but it was a calming, patient smile, while my face was emotionless. I finally managed to find my voice, but it sounded different and lifeless.

"Do you know?" I asked him quietly.

He simply nodded as he looked into my eyes. "Ben told me." He said, as his voice was low and quiet.

I seemed to gain some life back in my voice, but it still sounded off. I slightly and almost unnoticeably narrowed my eyes and sighed, but I knew he couldn't hear me. "He _told_ you? When?"

"He called me about an hour ago." He said. The smile that was on his face was gone. His face was emotionless just like mine. I didn't say anything, because I couldn't think of anything _to_ say. I waited for him to tell me what he said, and finally, he spoke again. "Well, at first he called to tell me he was gonna be late at the butcher shop tomorrow, but he sounded depressed so I joked around and asked him if you turned him down, and he told me he broke up with you."

I felt my heart stop once he said that last sentence. I still didn't want to believe that he was out of my life forever. I felt the urge to yell at Ricky for what he said, but I couldn't find the energy or care, so I just let it go. "Sorry, Amy. For reminding you. But it'll be okay. You don't need him." He comforted me.

"So, why are you out here in the rain?" He continued.

"It's better than listening to John." I snapped at him.

"Come on, you know it's not that bad."

I didn't say anything. I sulked again as I cried into my knees, and I turned my head slightly away from Ricky so he wouldn't see me cry. I knew that he noticed I was crying, but he didn't say anything about it. Instead, he put his hand on my arm and spoke in a soft voice. "How about we go inside?"

I finally looked into his eyes, and I sighed. "I don't want to. I can't take all that crying. I just want to stay out here."

"I'll get him to stop crying," He said, smirking,"You're gonna get sick, Amy." He stood up and held out his hand to help me up. I knew that I didn't have the energy to get up myself. All of this crying has made my whole body weak. I hesitated for a long time, but finally placed my hand into his, and he pulled me up. He lead me into my house and the first thing I heard was John, but as soon as Ricky came inside he stopped. I scowled in disbelief and crossed my arms.

I went into the bathroom and got a towel so I could dry my clothes off that were wet from the rain. I handed Ricky a towel and he took it and then went into my room with John. I wiped the tears from my eyes and went into my room with him.

"I don't know how you do that." I said scornfully.

"Just relax, Amy. He sees that you're stressed, and it stresses him out too." He said.

My phone was vibrating. I took it out of my pocket and looked at the caller id. It was a text from Ben. I took a deep breath before I read the message.  
_"Amy, I'm sorry if I hurt you earlier. I just think it's best if we aren't together anymore. Please understand.  
I love you."_

_-Ben_

I scowled, and then I decided to text him back.  
"_I will never understand."_

I sent the text message, and then I put my phone back into my pocket and sat down on my bed. I watched Ricky carefully as he fed John. It made me a little mad how good he was with him and how comfortable John was when he was around.

"So, where's your mom?" Ricky finally asked me, breaking the silence.

"She's with David." I scoffed, "She's always with him. It makes me so mad."

Ricky slowly scrunched his eyebrows together, but then he smirked. "Why?"

"Because. I don't like that guy. I can't _believe_ that she's having his baby. She hasn't even known him that long. She's _way_ too old to be having a baby. It's going to be so hard having two babies in the house." I whined.

"Well, it could be a good thing." He said quickly, putting John back in his bassinet to sleep after he finished feeding him.

I breathed deeply and rolled my eyes. "How could it be a good thing? You know how hard it is with just John! She'll be so busy that she won't even be able to help me!" I complained, lying down on the bed. Ricky nonchalantly sat down in the chair that was in my room and sighed.

"Why should she help you? We can take care of him." He exclaimed, the tone of his voice sounding annoyed.

"You're right."I snapped at him,"We can take care of him. Actually, I can take care of him all by myself. So why don't you just leave and stop pretending that you care? Because we both know that you don't." I said. I didn't mean to go off on him like that, but I was tired and I just wanted him to agree with me.

Ricky suddenly stood up. "I _do_ care! I care about my son! He isn't just yours, Amy! He's mine too!" He yelled angrily.

"No you don't care about him! You don't care about anyone except yourself!" I yelled back at him, sitting up from where I was lying on the bed.

"That's not true. I care about John. I CARE ABOUT MY SON! I don't care what you think. You're wrong and you know it. Stop acting like all of this is my fault!" He shouted, looking into my eyes with anger and aggression.

"It _is _all of your fault! If you wouldn't have been so obsessed with having sex with as many girls as you could, then none of this would've happened! And Ben and I would still be together and we would never have anything to fight about! _Everything_ is your fault!" I insisted, as tears rolled down my cheeks again.

"Fine! You think you don't need me? Then I'll just leave! I'm sure you'll be fine without me!" He headed toward the door, but stopped when he got to the doorway. "I may not love anyone else, but I love my son! See you later, _Amy_."He scoffed and stomped out of my room. I listened closely and heard the front door slam as he left. I fell back down on the bed and cried my eyes out as I hyperventilated. I squeezed my eyes shut and finally fell asleep, but was soon awaken by John wailing. I had to fight to get up.

Adrenaline rushed through my veins, and I broke down on my knees bawling and yelled,"RICKY, COME BACK! I NEED YOU!" I knew he couldn't have possibly heard me. He was already gone. I kicked John's bassinet and he came falling down to the floor, I gasped but quickly caught him and squeezed him close to me. "John, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me. I'm so sorry. _Everything_ is my fault. I- I can't do this without him! He's never gonna come back now!" I cried. I lied down on my bed with John, and finally he calmed down. I quickly fell asleep, and I dreamed of Ricky.

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Thank you for reading! Lol. I'll update as soon as I get reviews. I already have an idea of what I'm writing about for the next chapter. =D


	3. Chapter 3

Well here's chapter 3! Lol. I want 6 reviews for this! =D  
I hope you like it =D

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I woke up in horror at my dream. I couldn't remember too much about it, but Ricky and John were in it. I quickly wiped the sweat from my forehead as I took in a deep breath. Ricky was trying to take John from me. I knew it was just a dream, but it angered me. I would hope that Ricky wouldn't try to do that. I sat up in my bed and repeatedly told myself it was just a dream, but the memory of it kept flashing through my mind. I was overwhelmed by the thought.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, trying so that I could forget the dream, but it didn't help. I decided that the only other thing to do would be to talk to Ricky, but I didn't know what to say to him. Should I apologize for the way I acted? Maybe my dream was trying to tell me that I need him and I was wrong. Maybe I should call him right now and apologize, but I didn't want to risk him getting mad at me. John suddenly started screaming and crying. I rolled my eyes and sighed, throwing my legs over the bed and pulling myself up unto my feet. I was still weak from crying yesterday. I was still trembling, and I had an awful empty space feeling in my stomach that felt like butterflies. I had goosebumps all over my arms, although I wasn't cold. It was the kind of feeling you felt when you knew you had lost someone forever. I had lost Ben forever and probably Ricky wouldn't even talk to me anymore.

I picked up John from his bed and slowly rocked him, trying to calm him down. "_Shh_, it's okay John. Please don't cry." I soothed him. I quickly put him back in his bed after I couldn't get him to stop crying.

I felt alone, and I was scared. I trampled out of my room after yelling to John,"Please stop crying!" in a harsh tone. That only made him cry more. I let out a loud cry of frustration as I pulled out my phone and angrily and nervously punched in Ricky's number. I silently scolded myself for giving in from being so desperate. The phone rang two times before he answered, and I took in a deep breath preparing myself to talk.

"Hello?" Ricky asked, his tone calm but slightly irritated. He must've known who it was. I nervously licked my lips and breathed slowly so I wouldn't hyperventilate. I squeezed my eyes closed tightly to hold my tears in as John's crying got louder. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest, and I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

I finally found my voice and yelled over John's screaming, "You say you love John, then get over here and make his endless crying stop! I can't take it anymore!" I felt a big lump in my throat as I talked, and I could literally feel my head spinning.

"Okay, calm down Amy! Don't do anything stupid. I'm on my way." He said quickly and impatiently. I breathed a sigh of relief, and I hung up the phone.

I quickly wiped away the tears that had managed to escape from my eyes, and I lied down on the couch and pressed my hands to my ears to block out the noise, although it hardly did any good. I sat back up on the couch and drowned myself in tears. My head was pounding, and it was hard for me to think straight. Then suddenly I heard the door quietly shut. I turned around behind me and stranding there was my mom.

I stood up and scowled, hesitating before I spoke and then I yelled, louder than I had originally planned to,"Mom, where have you been? I thought you were coming back last night!" I looked down at the floor so she wouldn't see that I was crying. Half of the lights in the room were off so it wasn't very easy for her to see my face clearly.

She glared at me and sighed, appearing exhausted. "Amy, I'm sorry. I should've called you. But I'm leaving again, there's something I have to take care of. You'll be fine by yourself taking care of John, won't you? Ricky can come and help you?" She looked away, not making eye contact, and walked into the kitchen.

I sat back down on the couch and watched her carefully as I grumbled,"Yep. I'll be fine," in a harsh tone. My mom ignored the tone in my voice and the overwhelmingly shrill, piercing cry that came from my room. She nodded and slowly walked towards the front door. I turned around and didn't look at her. I looked up at the ceiling and pursed my lips together and heard the quiet click of the door as she shut it. I felt a sudden chill run down my spine and my legs starting shaking nervously. I fell down onto the floor and hugged my knees into my chest. I cried out loud and yelled at John again, desperate for the noise to stop. Of course as soon as Ricky gets here he's going to stop. He had already eaten and his diaper was changed so there was no reason as to why he was crying.

I inhaled slowly and tried to pull myself together. I stood up from the floor and listened closely as I heard footsteps. Then I heard the door shut behind me and my face instantly lit up a little. I walked over to Ricky and he scrunched his eyebrows together and asked,"You aren't still upset about Ben, are you?"

I hesitated and nodded. Then I began to speak, "My mom is gone again. She won't even tell me where she is."

Ricky studied my face very carefully as I become quickly agitated. "Calm down, okay? I'll go take care of John." He said, walking into my room. I turned around and watched him walk off, and then I listened as John suddenly stopped crying. I rolled my eyes and followed him into my room. I stood in the doorway as I watched him holding John. He didn't say anything. I wanted to apologize to him for yesterday, but I didn't know if I should or not.

I was about to speak, but Ricky said something before I had the chance to. "If you want I could stay here tonight. You really need to chill out, Amy. It's really not that hard."

"How is it not that hard? Maybe not for you, because every time you touch him he stops crying." I protested. I nervously folded my arms together as they started trembling.

After Ricky got John to go to sleep, he walked towards me and put his hand on my arm. "Relax. It's gonna be okay." He comforted me.

"No it isn't. Ben hates me! And- and I don't even know if I _should_ care or not, but I do and.. and I- I admit that I'm going crazy, but I suddenly feel like I'm alone.." I said, as I quickly looked back into Ricky's eyes, but then looking down at the floor.

"Amy, the guy's a wimp. You don't need him. Stop caring about someone who isn't even worth it.. because honestly there are better guys out there. If he really cared about you then he wouldn't have broken up with you." He said, staring into my eyes, and I was forced to look into his.

"Yeah maybe he never cared about me. And maybe I'm wrong for caring, but I do care. I can't help that I feel this way." I said, my teeth chattering.

Ricky watched me as he saw how nervous I was, and softly said,"Just forget about him. Like I said, you don't need him, Amy."

I restlessly wandered my eyes down at the ground, shaking my head nervously and quietly muttering,"But I do."

Ricky slightly adjusted himself closer to me, speaking in a quiet tone to equal mine,"No you don't. You don't need someone who hurts you. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. So try and get over him." I pursed my lips together, looking blankly straight ahead at the wall.

I hesitated, restlessly swinging my arm, as I quickly changed the subject. "_Uh, _thanks for coming over here to help with John. I- I didn't think you would.." I trailed off.

Ricky crinkled his eyebrows together, and glared at me, his voice sounding angry and bewildered. "Why wouldn't I?"

I folded my arms together and suddenly felt anxious. I spoke quietly, but my voice was strong and bitter. "I don't know. I mean, I know you've always came here when I needed you to help me with John, but you left yesterday, and I really needed you! The second you leave John starts crying, and I don't even know why! Maybe you should just take him, clearly he likes you better!" I shouted, not thinking about what I was saying, because I didn't mean what I said. I would _never_ let Ricky take John.

Ricky flinched as I quickly and forcefully shoved him as John began to cry. He rolled his eyes and took John out of his bed, calmly rocking him back and forth as he fed him. He looked back up in my direction and spoke with venom and bitterness in his voice, "You're the one that wanted me to leave!" He shook his head in disbelief as he continued,"And maybe he likes me better because I'm not always mad at everyone!"

I could feel the tension building up inside of me. I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself, however it didn't help me. "I am _not_ always mad at everyone! Maybe I'm just mad at myself for letting this happen! And I'm _definitely_ mad at you, too!"

"There's nothing we can do about it now, Amy! So just stop complaining all the time! Let your own self suffer and not John, because he's really the one who has to suffer from all of this! You could make it easier on him, and me, and your mom if you would just stop complaining and acting like this is everyone elses fault except yours, because it's just as much as your fault as it is mine!" He shouted, fiercely looking into my eyes.

"I know that, Ricky! I know it's not just your fault! I'm.. I'm _sorry.._" I sat down in a chair that was in my room and avoided making eye contact with him. I crossed my arms as I kept my eyes focused on John, but soon found myself only staring at the wall. I instantly regretted apologizing to him.

Ricky nodded, pursing his lips together before speaking,"Look, it's fine, Amy. I don't wanna fight anymore. Okay?"

I nodded in agreement, not knowing what else to say. Ricky carefully put John back in his bassinet, and he came to stand beside me. We then heard the door shut loudly from in the kitchen. Ricky went to sit down on my bed, and I froze where I was sitting in the chair and listened closely while my door opened.

Standing there in the doorway was Ben. His eyes frantically wandered back and forth between Ricky and I. His face looked hurt and somewhat surprised when he finally spoke,"Uh.. Amy. I wanted to talk to you, but it looks like you're busy, so I guess I could come back later." He slowly started walking out the door but I stopped him.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" I said loudly before he could leave. I angrily pursed my lips, as I quickly glanced over at Ricky.

"Forget it. I just wanted to tell you I'm going to Italy this summer, but it seems that you are busy right now. I'll just come back later or I'll talk to you at school tomorrow, okay?" He said, talking very fast. I shook my head furiously. I did _not_ want to talk to him. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to be his friend. I didn't understand why I felt this way, but I figured that maybe it was because I was finally over Ben, although I still felt empty and alone inside.

"I'm not busy now. But I don't really want to talk to you. Have fun in Italy. Bye Ben." I said. I stood up and treaded over to him, fiercely shoving him out of my room and walking into the kitchen with him.

"I guess I'll see you later, okay? You should leave." I said, leaning on the counter.

Ben opened his mouth to protest, but then he sighed loudly. "Okay, I guess I will see you later then. Bye Amy. I-" He paused before he could say anything else, shutting his eyes tightly and rubbing his forehead nervously.

"Bye Ben." I pushed him out of the kitchen door and shut it behind him. I breathed, sighing loudly as I walked back into my room with Ricky and John.

"What'd he want?" Ricky asked as soon as he saw me. I stopped in the doorway and examined Ricky very closely with John; he was sitting on the bed holding him again, trying to get him to fall asleep. I couldn't help but smile at him. They looked so _perfect_ together, and John looked happy and at peace.

"I don't really know. I didn't give him a chance to tell me what he wanted." I sighed, as I finally walked back into my room, and I hesitated before I sat down at the end of the bed with Ricky and John.

Ricky stood up from the bed and put John back in his bassinet, turning around to face me. "I guess I should be going. It's late. I'll see you tomorrow at school. Bye Amy." He walked towards the door and stopped once he got to the doorway.

"Wait." I shouted furiously.

He turned around and looked at me, waiting for me to talk. I didn't say anything. I didn't know what I wanted to say to him. He looked at me in confusion and said, "What?"

"It's not really that late. You don't have to leave now." I said, not thinking about what I was saying.

"I know, but I probably should leave now. Your mom wouldn't want me here this late."

"Fine then, leave. I don't care. John's just going to start crying again and I'm not gonna be able to stop him!" I yelled at him, trying to stop him from leaving.

Ricky flinched at the hatred in my voice. "You will be fine without me! He's not going to cry, and if he _does_ start crying, then I'm sure you can figure out something. You'll be fine, okay? I'll see you tomorrow." He said again, turning his back to me.

"You're going to sleep with Adrian, aren't you?" I asked him coldly.

He stopped again and turned back around to face me. "So what if I am? It's none of your business. I don't have to tell you everything, we aren't married." He yelled at me, his tone harsh and furious.

I rolled my eyes. "I knew it. I knew you don't really care as much as you say you do. Adrian is always going to come first, isn't she? That's all you really care about. Whatever. Just go. I don't care."

He stared at me for a long time, his eyes frustrated and upset, and finally said, "You don't know anything. You're wrong. But fortunatly, I don't care what you think. _Bye, Amy._" He spat at me, then he shook his head and turned around, walking out the door.

I sat motionless as I listened for the loud click of the door being shut. My heart starting racing, and blood was pumping firmly in my veins. I sighed and let myself fall back onto the bed, my breathing rapidly becoming faster as I could hear my heart pounding. I couldn't believe myself for letting this happen. I didn't _want _to believe it. I wasn't at all expecting to feel like this, and I didn't want to, but I couldn't help myself. I fiercely clutched my fists together, squeezing my eyes shut as tears were building up in my eyes. I was actually falling for him, and for all the wrong reasons.

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**I hope you liked this chapter, lol! =D I'll start writing as soon as get some reviews! =D **


	4. Chapter 4

Okay well finally I decided to write chapter 4! PLEASE review, I want around 10 reviews for this before I update. I don't know if I'll continue if I don't get reviews. But anyway, I hope you like it! :D  
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I turned over in the bed as I woke up when my alarm went off. I groaned and turned it off, and slowly I swung my legs over the bed and pulled myself up. Two weeks had gone by, and Ben had left for Italy. He came back over the other day to tell me goodbye. Ricky was still coming over every day to help with John, but we didn't really talk to each other very much. I felt really tired and was a little confused. I took my phone that was lying on the table and looked to see what day it was; it was Saturday.

I took John out of his bed and walked into the kitchen to feed him. I didn't hear anyone else in the house. I went into the living room and looked around, but then loudly I yelled, "Mom? Are you here?" There was no answer. I took my phone out of my pocket and punched in my dad's number.

"Hello? Ames?" He answered.

"Yeah, hey Dad. I just woke up and mom isn't here. Do you know where she is?"

"Oh yeah, she's over here with me and Ashley looking at divorce papers. You can come if you want." He said.

I inhaled a deep breath, and I quietly groaned as I looked at John. "Okay I guess I'll be over there in a minute after I change John's diaper." I complained and rolled my eyes before I hung up the phone. I walked into my room with John to get a new diaper to change him. I quickly changed his diaper, and then I changed into jeans and a T-shirt.

I shut the front door as I walked out of the house and went right inside when I got up to my dad and Ashley's house, not minding to knock on the door. I then found them all standing around a table looking at what my dad said was divorce papers.

"What's going on?" I asked.

My mom looked at me and then said, "George is finally signing the divorce papers." She rolled her eyes. I didn't really want my parents to get a divorce. I wanted her baby to be my dad's, and I wanted him and Ashley to move back in, so we could be a family again.

"I see." I replied. Suddenly I heard the door open and then the click of it as it was shut. I looked behind me and saw Ricky walking in, and I felt my heart flutter. I wondered if Ricky still liked me. He probably didn't, so I'm not going to bother with it.

Ricky smiled and said, "What are you all doing over here?" He walked up to me and smirked for a brief second as he looked at John. John made a cooing sound as I handed him to Ricky.

I ran my fingers through my hair and replied, "My dad is signing divorce papers. What are _you_ doing over here so early?" I asked rudely. I still was annoyed whenever I was around Ricky, but I was annoyed with almost everyone.

"Well," he began, he looked away but then gestured for me to follow him, "I thought you would be awake, and I wanted to talk to you." I nodded and stood beside him. I eyed my parents and Ashley.

"Well I'm gonna go back home, Amy." My mom said and quickly glanced over at Dad and Ashley.

"And we're gonna go too." He said. I watched them as they took the papers and then went out the door, then I turned around and looked at Ricky and waited for him to say something.

He didn't say anything. I took a deep breath and then cleared my voice and asked in a low, quiet tone, "So, you said you had something to talk to me about? Or were you just saying that?"

"No, I did want to talk to you. But I wanted to see my son too, that's okay right?" He asked in an annoyed tone. I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded and waited for him to continue. "I wanted to talk to you about Ben."

I felt my heart skip. I scrunched my eyebrows together and shook my head. "Yeah, it is okay. Why would you want to talk to me about Ben?" I felt a smile suddenly appear on my face. I didn't want Ricky to notice, so I looked down at the floor.

He must have noticed I was smiling at him, because he chuckled. He hesitated before he said anything, but finally he said calmly, "_Uh,_ I just- I think you need to get over him. He's no good for you, Amy. Isn't that why you're in such a bad mood, because of Ben?"

I scowled and snapped at him, "I am _not_ in a bad mood because of him! I am in a bad mood because I'm tired and I _just_ had a baby!" I pursed my lips angrily together and looked away from him again as tears were starting to build up in my eyes. "Ben's the only good thing that happened to me in a while, and now he's just gone."

"You didn't just have a baby! It's been months, you still aren't over it?" He snapped at me.

"No I'm not over it! It'll be a while for me to get completely over having a baby at only fifteen years old!" I shouted. I took deep breaths and said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. Just tell me what you wanted to talk to me about or whatever."

He looked up at the ceiling and then shook his head. "Ben's already moved on. He found someone else, so there you go. He isn't as perfect as you thought he was. You might as well get over it, because being unhappy about it isn't gonna help anything."

"What do you mean _he found someone else_? How would you know?" I asked rudely.

"Adrian told me." He said simply.

_Ugh, Adrian. _"And how would she know?" I asked, annoyed.

"Because Ben called her. He wanted her to keep it a secret so you wouldn't find out, but everyone knows, or at least _should_ know that Adrian isn't gonna keep a secret. So then I told _you_." He said.

"Oh." I muttered. I couldn't say anything else, I was speechless. I felt stupid for believing that Ben had actually loved me. Why couldn't he wait for me? Why aren't I enough anymore? I quickly wiped the tear away that had managed to fall down my cheek.

"I'm sorry." Ricky said quietly and comforting. He hesitatingly stepped closer to me, with John still in his arms. He gazed into my eyes and then put one arm around to hug me. I hugged him back, and I felt _safe_ in his arms.

"You need a friend, Amy." He said as he finally pulled away from me. "And so do I. I don't want us to fight anymore. Let's be friends, you and me, okay?"

I slowly nodded, then I smiled and said quietly, "Okay." I was _happy_. I wanted to be his friend, and I'm glad he doesn't want to fight anymore. I still couldn't make these feelings go away though, although I knew I didn't have a chance with Ricky. We would _never_ have a chance together. I didn't know if I wanted to be with him though, I still didn't want to accept these feelings. I wanted them to go away, but since I can't make them go away, I might as well learn to accept them.

The door suddenly slammed open, and Adrian stood there looking annoyed. She narrowed her eyes and folded her arms together and asked, "What's going on here?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked her. I grimaced and quickly looked away from her when she gave me a dirty look. She stepped closer to Ricky, but he quickly cringed away from her, resulting in her becoming even more angry.

"I'm visiting my son." Ricky told her coldly. He was still not paying attention to her, he was looking straight down at John, and briefly he looked at me from the corner of his eye.

"And Amy?" Adrian snapped at him and pursed her lips together angrily. A wave of embarrasment and anger suddenly passed through me. Adrian had no right to come barging through here to yell at Ricky. She always has to be in the middle of everything.

He casually shrugged his shoulders, and still he didn't make eye contact as he also ignored her presence. Adrian clamped her teeth together and clutched her fists together. "Ricky, can I talk to you _alone_?"

He sighed, and then he handed John to me. She pulled him around to the other side of the room, and I carefully listened to hear their conversation.

"Okay, what is your problem?" She asked and grabbed his hand. He stared at her for a second but then quickly recoiled away from her.

"Nothing. Does it look like I have a problem? What's _your _problem? I'm just here to see my son, don't make a big deal out of nothing." I heard him say. John let out a quiet cry and I cooed to him to calm him.

"No, I know you. And I know you're just trying to get closer to Amy. That's the real reason you're over here. I know that you might care about your son, but the main thing you care about is getting with her." She grumbled.

"That's not true." He said as he carelessly looked around the room.

"Yeah, it is. You said you weren't gonna try to sleep with her, but I know you are! If you keep hanging around her all the time, then.. I don't want to see you anymore, _ever_. And I really mean it this time, so choose. Me or _her_." She said scornfully.

I heard him chuckle. "You want me to choose?"

"Yeah!" She shouted. She glanced over at me and saw I was staring at her. I quickly looked away and down at my shoes. Of course Ricky wasn't going to choose me over Adrian. Especially since we're only _friends_. He would never give her up.

Ricky smirked, appearing satisfied with himself. "Her."


	5. Chapter 5

I finally updated. Sorry it took so long.. I just really didn't know what to write about. Anyway please review!

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"Her?" Adrian exclaimed, but suddenly burst out laughing. "You- you've got to be kidding me? You pick _Amy_ over me? What do you think you're gonna get from her?" Her face soon after turned into a scowl, and she pursed her lips together while she put her hands on her hips.

"I'm not expecting to get _anything_ from her. You asked me to choose, and I choose Amy. If you don't want to see me anymore, Adrian, then I really don't care anymore. There's other girls besides just you." He said, returning the same irritated look that Adrian expressed to him.

"Anymore?" She laughed scornfully. "You never even cared about me!"

"And what makes you think that, Adrian?" He scorned back at her.

"Like you don't know." She rolled her eyes, and attempting to intimidate him, she stepped closer to him and grabbed his hand. "I think you know perfectly well why I think that, Ricky. Don't you?" She said seductively as she put her hands on his chest.

"Don't do that." He pushed her off, and she looked at him in disbelief. He took a deep breath and hesitated before saying quietly, "I don't think we should see each other anymore. I'm sorry that Amy and me make you jealous, but if you can't accept that I have a son with her, and I have responsibilities, then we're over."

Ricky walked over to the door of George's house and opened it for Adrian to walk out. She just stared at him for a second, but then she paced over to him and said desperately, "Ricky, I do accept it, but you're always over here with Amy! Ricky, I love you- and you belong with me not _her_, why can't you see that?"

"Look, I never said I was going to get with Amy or anything. I simply picked Amy over you, because that's what you asked me to do. And I don't belong to you or anything- I don't belong to anyone, okay? Just go home. We're over. I mean that this time." He said firmly and seriously.

"I- I didn't say that.." She paused, looking down at the floor and nodding to herself. "All right. Whatever, Ricky. I don't need you. I hope you have fun with Amy and John. Have a lot of fun, Ricky, because I will never ever come back to you again. I mean _that_!"

"I'm sure you do." He mumbled under his breath, still holding the door open. Adrian bowed her head and headed out the door, with Ricky shutting it behind her.

"So, Amy, what do you want to do?" He said, walking over to her as he kept his head low to the floor.

"Um.." She began, staring at him with an appalled look on her face. "What?"

"God, Amy. Chill out, I didn't mean it like that." He said, annoyed. He stood a couple of feet away from her, but stepped even closer to her - only inches apart as he stood over John. Amy handed John over to him quickly so he wouldn't stand so close to her, and he took him into his arms and stepped back only a foot.

Ricky gently rocked John in his arms, and he glanced over at me for a second, but then looked back down at John and smiled to himself. I glared at him curiously, wondering what he was thinking about.

He didn't say anything, so I spoke, replying to what he previously said. "Well it seemed like you meant it that way. From what you were saying to Adrian.."

He looked up at me and narrowed his eyes. "What did I say to Adrian?"

"You-" I stopped, remembering he didn't significantly say anything. "Well, you chose me over her. That's kind of.. surprising, unless you were just joking. I can't really tell with you. I never know if you're serious or not. Obviously that's how John was born." I said scornfully.

"Excuse me?" He asked. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Um, it means that you're never serious around anyone. You told me you thought I was 'special' or something like that, and of course I fell for it and look what happened! You purposely fool any girl you can get your hands on, and then you acted like it didn't even mean anything.." I stopped and looked down at the floor. What had I just said? Did I just give Ricky the idea that what he did actually meant something to me?

I quickly pushed away the feelings that I felt for him, and pretended like I had never thought anything of it. I can't like Ricky! It's just ridiculous! But whatever I seemed to do or whatever I told myself, I couldn't help but think I seriously was infatuated with him.

Ricky smugly chuckled to himself. "Did it mean somethin' to _you_, Amy?"

"Wh- what?" I said nervously, pretending I didn't understand what we were talking about. I shyly brushed my fingers through my hair as I crossed my arms and looked at the back of the wall.

I heard him silently laughing again before he said slowly, "Did it mean something to you when we had sex at band camp?"

"I-" Embarrassed, I looked away and blushed, and said with my head turned away from him, "N– No. Of c- course not."

"Who are _you_ trying to fool, Amy? I know you're lying to me. You stutter when you lie." He said conceitedly with a smirk on his face. He looked me deeply into the eyes, holding his stare longer than he ever had before.

"Look at me, Amy." He said softly. All the ego was now gone, and I could see nothing but compassion in his eyes, like he was trying to show me that I could trust him. Finally, I raised my head up and looked into his eyes, my lips pursed together. "Look at me and tell me that it didn't mean anything to you. No stuttering. And no looking away. Just look right into my eyes and tell me that what we did didn't mean anything to you."

I didn't take my eyes off of his, but I couldn't speak. I stood there with my mouth slightly opened in shock and embarrassment, afraid to say anything to him. I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him that it didn't mean anything to me, because it really did. Not so much the sex- but really just being with him, and him treating me like I was so special. I believed it, and it felt so real, so _true_. But I wasn't sure I could trust him.

At that moment– it had meant something to me, but if Ricky didn't care about me – if he didn't care about it, then I didn't want to either.

"I-" I stopped. No matter how hard I tried, I would have stuttered. I couldn't deny it anymore. He tricked me, and if I did try to lie to him, he would know it. All I could do was tell him the truth. "Okay, fine! You want to know the truth?" I shouted to him.

He nodded. I shut my eyes closed for just a second, trying to stop the tears. I quickly wiped off the tear once it rolled down my cheek, and then I shouted again to him, "It did mean something to me! At that moment, It really did! But- but I can't say now that it still does! I mean, in a way, but it's different since I know you now! I know what you're capable of! Getting what you want out of girls- just using them, and then walking away like you never even cared! So there's your answer Ricky! It meant a lot to me! You were the first guy I had ever come that close to in my whole life! And even now you still are! I really, _really_ liked you then! But then I realized you were just a player! You got me pregnant, and yes, I realize it's partially my fault! But you've been with a lot of other girls- so they say, and I bet you've gotten so many other girls pregnant that you probably don't even know about and-"

"Amy." He cut me off. I was glad he did. I was rambling, and I didn't even think about what I was saying. I just said exactly what was on my mind. "I haven't been with that many girls. You are the only girl I've gotten pregnant." He wrinkled his eyebrows together. "I _think."_

I didn't answer him. I was too much in shock at his and my own words and at the whole conversation we somehow managed to get into. Ricky continued, "Amy, it was pretty special to me, too- what happened. It's different with you. Being around you, I mean. I just feel different. I can't really explain it. I really do like you, Amy."

I squeezed my eyes closed as tears were pouring down my cheek. I felt embarrassed, and I was completely humiliating myself in front of him. "Stop." I whispered. "You're just tricking me again."

"No, I'm not." He said sincerely.

"Yes you are!" My voice cracked, but I didn't care. I continued talking, and I didn't stop myself no matter what I said. I was tired of holding back what I wanted to say with him all the time. He needed to hear this."You aren't trustworthy! I can't trust that you aren't just tricking me right now, and trying to get closer to me again. That's what you're probably doing- I don't know! What kind of guy goes over and sleeps with some girl at camp, gets her pregnant, has a baby with her, and then just goes right back to sleeping with some different girl!

You were probably with Adrian before you came here! And now look at you- trying to get me to fall under your evil little scheme. But no! I'm not falling for it this time, Ricky! I'm not! I fell for it once, and I'm not gonna let that happen again! I'm older and I'm grown up a lot through this! I had to for OUR son! I understand so much now that I didn't before! I'm not the same girl I was at band camp- all naive and everything! I know that you think just 'cause I'm broken up with Ben, that you can automatically try and get me on your side or whatever- but you just can't do that! You can't!

And even if you _did_ mean what you just said, it's just not possible! We can't just forget everything that's happened, and– and be together! I know we've been through this really difficult situation together, and you've comforted me a few times when I was upset about Ben and life, and we've been through a lot, I know, but it just isn't possible! Think about what everyone would say! My mom, especially my dad, would completely flip out! Ben would hate me forever, Ashley would think I'm crazy! And- and after you leave my house, you'd probably just go over to Adrian's and whatever other girls you're seeing! And-"

"Amy, stop." Ricky demanded. "You are being absurd."

My heart was pounding heavily in my chest, and I had goosebumps on my entire body. With desperate, overwhelmed tears in my eyes, I whispered, "Then why don't you just shut me up?"

He nodded and replied with a straight face, "I could do that."

He slowly leaned towards me, while looking curiously into my eyes, and he pressed his lips to mine. With his other hand that he wasn't using to hold John, he glided it across my cheek and down the back of my neck. I kissed him back and kept my hands at my sides. I didn't expect anything else to happen, but I had to take what I could get. I wasn't convinced that Ricky really did like me, but I just had to enjoy this moment.

He pulled away and sighed deeply. "Now what?"

I shrugged my shoulders and, unable to speak any louder than a whisper, I said, "I don't know. It's late. Maybe you should go, or we can go back to my house, and you can stay for a while.. I guess. My dad and Ashley probably want to come back over here.."

"Alright, let's go."


End file.
